RECOGNIZING ALCOHOLISM: WHO ARE YOU?

So let's get back to the bar. What if you've never sat at the bar and gotten obnoxious? Maybe it's at the business lunch you are getting your fix? Driving the school bus, hungover again? Taking the baby-sitter home after just a few too many? Are you one of the world's top athletes? My son's teacher?

Have you ever woken up one too many mornings so hungover you could die? Have you wondered for days about what you said or did the last time you sat down for "just a couple" of drinks to unwind? Have you noticed lately that the "couple" has turned into more than you could have ever imagined? Have you ever gotten that cold, horrifying feeling inside when you see the ads for help on TV? Then maybe you, like me, are living/dying with alcoholism.

You may be the only one, at this point, who knows something is wrong. But you know if it is. Your drinking may still be easy to sweep under the "socially acceptable" rug, even though you have that nagging feeling that you drink differently than most. It may only be bad once in a while, and not difficult to cover up when it is. OK, a problem—but alcoholic? Why say the word? Why bring it up? Why bother with sobriety when the problem is really not that bad?

Great question, and one that I've got the best answer for…

HELLO….

EXCUSE ME.

FITNESS EXPERT.

Admit to being alcoholic???

FIT AS A FIDDLE.

WON'T PUT LOW-QUALITY, HIGH-FAT FOOD IN MY BODY.

And drinking myself to death??? DOING TV.

WRITING BOOKS.

RAISING THE GREATEST KIDS ON THE PLANET (EXCEPT YOURS, OF COURSE).

DOING SEMINARS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. LOVING MY LIFE. LOVING MY WORK.

LEAN, STRONG, AND HEALTHY AS HELL…

If anyone has a "Why would ya open this can of worms?" clause in their life, it's me!

Write a book about it and expose an addiction? I never would have if I'd… I had a choice.

There is no way on earth that I would have gone through the last two years of facing truths that I didn't want to face, being so vulnerable I felt like I was going to die, feeling such shame in the midst of the most "success" I've ever had in my life, if there had been a choice. Addiction isn't a choice. Alcoholism isn't a choice. It's a textbook spiral down. The same end result for all of us. Nobody understands "socially acceptable" drinking— being enormously productive and addicted—more than me. I was.

But I also know the importance of opening this can of worms. I know that you are soooooo tired of it. There isn't any question that you are hurting, physically and emotionally. You may not know it yet, but if you are alcoholic, you are physically dying, poisoning every cell in your body, and there's no question that the last couple of parties… late nights with one too many… have left you scared to death.

I know you've woken up at whatever time of the morning and felt the guilt, the shame, the burden, the fear, the anger. Why talk alcoholism?

So we can get on with the solutions, the healing, the answers we need to get rid of it.

Recognizing, acknowledging, getting truthful about what's going on with the bottle in your life is one of the most important things you can do.

One of my biggest problems in recognizing my disease was how unbelievably educated I am when it comes to this "drinking problem" thing.

Oh, my God, one of the most educated drinkers you've ever met about alcoholism… that's me.

Math? Count me out.

Geography? Forget about it. I couldn't tell you where Arkansas is. Then again, why would you want to know? (Only joking, everyone in Arkansas—so I had one bad experience there that I can't seem to let go of. Call me immature, revengeful, or just plain childish.)

I know basic physiology. Had to spend some time looking into that—260 pounds, obesity, losing 133 pounds, changing lifestyles. Learned that, did that.

But educated, as in well schooled, as in knowing the presidents of the U.S.—forget about it.

Count me out, unless it's alcoholism you are hankering to know alllll about. If so, it's me you should be calling.

I don't mean call me now that I'm sober. I mean you could have called me after a couple-too-many beers and I could have told you more about alcoholism than anyone you know! Give me one ringy-dingy when my disease was in full swing, progressing into the toilet beautifully, and I could have told you all about progression.

If it's denial you wanted to know about—got it. Could have talked for hours on denial.

Don't even hesitate if it's drinking patterns you are interested in. I knew all there was to know about the patterns of alcoholics.

Textbook lifestyle changes? Knew that. We could have chatted up a storm…

My schooling started early. Eleven years old and sitting at an AJ-Anon meeting desperate for some answers about what was swallowing our family alive… alcoholism. Educated??

Who goes to an Al-Anon meeting at eleven alone? I'd say that was looking for answers . . . Knowledgeable?

Who sat with the sponsors and asked questions? ME.

Who went through years and years of living with alcoholics (and OH what fun that is) and seeing what this horrific disease does to a person's logic, love, being—their life? It destroys. I've seen it more times than even I want to know about.

I'm with ya when it comes to doing it one day at a time.

Nobody understands sponsorship, and surrendering to your higher power, and attending meetings better than me.

I know it's an art to listen.

Easy does it? Second nature to me.

Ninety meetings in ninety days? Been there.

And the Serenity Prayer? Could recite that at the drop of a hat!

My God, I've seen what alcohol does to a person's life. The pain, the torture of this disease. Not just once, twice, but three times in my own family . . . and boy, oh boy, was I relieved years ago when I knew that I missed the "genetic whatever-it-is."

WOW. Three out of six in a family down . . .

Thank goodness I was one of the lucky ones who could sit down like a normal person and enjoy a beer once in a while.

Thank God there were great-volleyball-playing, cooler-full-of-beer, guys-with-rippled-abs fun times on the beach ahead for me!

One of the lucky ones. I missed it! Phew . . . wipe that brow and have a beer. And that's exactly what I did for years.

And I must say that, without the self-righteous tone of a less alcoholism-educated person, I did watch what was happening to the less lucky (the ones with the unlucky genes), the alcoholics around me, and thought…

Just stop, damn it!

What's the matter with you?

You have so much to lose.

Don't allow this in your life.

Take control.

Get a grip.

Reach out for help before it ends in disaster. Or…

Lazy?

Lacking willpower? Maybe just not caring enough…? That's what I was thinking, not self-righteously but thinking it all the same.

Recognizing alcoholism isn't easy because there is no characteristic of an alcoholic. We are everyone. Living everywhere. You don't need to end up in the gutter before you stop this thing from destroying your life. It is more than possible to stop the pain and suffering that goes on every time you drink. There's no question that you can be living your life (what appears to be a good one on the surface) and dying of alcoholism. Millions of us are. And there is no question that there is treatment for your disease.

Why tell the truth about your drinking? So you can get on with the solution and get on with your life.

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Anti-alcoholism